A Relationships Deep-Dive

The quality of our relationships is a reflection of three things: 1. what we feel we are worthy of, 2. what we are offering to others energetically and emotionally, and 3. our underlying beliefs and expectations. We cannot expect people to maintain a belief in us and to “want” us, if we, ourselves, feel unworthy of being loved and respected, or we expect things to not work out.

We humans often find ourselves unconsciously attracted to cyclical situations with the same types of people, who end up treating us the same way. Though the names, faces and circumstances may change, the archetype is largely the same. This becomes a feedback loop that we can’t help but return to – and we often don’t know why.

We have expectations and fears, based on the circumstances and results of our past. We may anticipate negative results to occur again, because we haven’t figured out how to shift these age-old beliefs that have remained constant. What we focus on and worry about the most is then energetically invited into our lives, and when the same results occur again, it further cements those beliefs that we are chained to. And so the cycle not only continues, but it gains momentum.

These relationship patterns cannot be broken until we change our beliefs about ourselves. We must get specific and decide what we want and deserve. We must also make a concerted effort to evolve our relationship with the world, because we need to be able to put out that which we wish to receive. We cannot expect that our continuing to live in the past – behaving in those destructive, automatic ways that move us unconsciously – could ever achieve a different result.

This is not just about attracting a romantic partner; our behaviors and beliefs affect the quality of our relationships with friends, family and coworkers. They can even have a profound effect on our career opportunities and financial security.

There are some critical, conscious decisions and acknowledgements that must be made before we do any deep-diving into the unconscious. We first have to accept personal responsibility – that we play a prominent role creating these negative outcomes through our energetic output and underlying beliefs, and we shape our future outcomes. If we think that we have no control over these situations and that we are simply victims of circumstance, nothing will change.

Secondly, we need to trace the key features of our past and current relationships by recognizing our recurring patterns and results. It is important to journal about early poignant experiences to help trace back to where any negative patterning originated – and so we can become aware of how certain experiences might have shaped our beliefs. We owe ourselves that clarity – and we deserve positive, loving, high-minded relationships.